


As They Lay In Wait (Prayer of the Refugee)

by parodySphoria



Series: Lyrical Anomalies (Song Inspired Fics) [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Human Master Race, Interspecies Relationship(s), Karkat is ornery, M/M, Memory Wipe, New Universe, One Shot, Other, and some auspistising, angst angst angst, blackrom and redrom, hella long, moirails too, pompous highblooded assholes, still some hemophobia going on, timey-wimey stuff, you feel?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2038194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parodySphoria/pseuds/parodySphoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shock of white-blonde hair, nearly luminescent in the last light of day. The human stops, looking at you - just you. Not the others, not Axonor with his bow trained so skillfully on their heart. They look at you through fabric-covered eyes and you feel it.<br/>"Help me... please..." They say in their own language, and you can't pretend you don't understand them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As They Lay In Wait (Prayer of the Refugee)

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to my good friend Oscar for providing the first names and blood colours for Axonor, Livean and Amirah, and helping out with plot line details. You rock harder than Onyx.

Sunset is when it's safest to move, the shadows of the rock faces mix in with the cover of the trees and leave everyone in complete darkness as they hunt what little animal life is available. There is no wind in this part of the wastelands at this time - the running water of the river, not far away now, is the only movement for miles apart from your small party. You're leading the charge tonight, leaving several others behind to guard the younger members of your small civilisation in the forest.

Your eyes provide the perfect vision in the pitch black, but the sun has still not gone beyond the horizon and to hunt in the night would be suicide; your team has to settle for poor vision, they would catch you if you were out at night. It's expected behaviour from Trolls, they know you function better under the cover of darkness.

So it is that your faction functions during dusk and dawn, learning to sleep through the night and enjoy the Earth's sun during its hours in the sky. It's unnatural, it's unexpected.

It's for this plan, this reasoning and judgement that they call you a great leader. You liked it at first, but it stopped being true a long time ago. You have absolutely no idea what you are doing. It's like you're six all over again, challenging your lusus to strifes you knew you weren't going to win. Those days are gone, your lusus is dead. You barely remember your childhood, but none of that matters now.

You push through the leaves silently as you near the edge of the forest, looking over to your left where you know Rokara and Axonor are, spotting two glimmers of amber scleras, pupils barely visible in the brightness of the yellows. you're not sure which one of them it is from this far away, but you nod, looking behind you for a sign of Livean, the only female who had not yet failed to attend a hunt. Her peridot cloak is nowhere in sight, but you know she's back there somewhere.

You push out into the open, under cover of the shadows and the hood of your cloak, red eyes darting between objects within sight before you signal the all-clear and start your crouched walk towards the next bunch of trees. The ground here is uneven; sunburned grass and sand from the dunes mixing and clumping together on the floodplain. You stumbled, once, almost falling in to the then-rushing river towards the deadly, jagged rocks you know to be beyond the bend on the horizon. You were afraid. You didn't stumble again.

You walk now, stepping easily through the calm river. It's the dry season, which causes pain for the community but allows your hunter teams to travel more easily towards the colonies of wild animals beyond your small village in the trees.

You walk through the water slowly, glancing around to count the members of your small team emerging from the trees - Axonor, the agate blooded archer, emerges first: visible from miles away for two factors - his large horns, curled out, up and back from his hairline as if to imitate some kind of deadly scoop, and his golden irises indistinguishable from the amber of his eyes and making him look crazed as he grins at you. Rokara is crouched in the hedges still, her curved, spiked horns protruding from a cobalt cloak wrapped around her thin but muscular frame, she nods at you. You look to your left, seeing Livean emerge from the trees, crouching as she sees you, her small, curled horns still rivalling yours in size, though mostly hidden behind her long black hair and partially pulled-up hood. The peridot-green-blood smiles at you.

You signal them forwards just as you hear footsteps over the next rise. The being is still far away - your hearing is good and the night is quiet. You hear raspy breathing and covered feet hitting solid ground, hands pushing through long grass. The person is getting nearer.

You look over to Axonor but he's already locked in an arrow, training it at the rise you know the person will appear over, waiting for your signal. You turn, signalling the females to step back into the trees. They're good fighters, you know that, but their blood and bodies are more valuable in the human market than yours or Axonor's. They'd be taken alive. You can't risk them being caught.

As you put an arm out to Axonor, ready to flick upwards and signal to shoot, your eyes adjust to the growing darkness; the sun is low over the horizon. You wasted too much time, you didn't prepare enough. The person is nearer now, you can hear their breaths coming in pants. They sound pained. You lower your arm, hearing Axonor swear in your native language under his breath.

A shock of white-blonde hair, nearly luminescent in the last light of day. The person stops, looking at you - just you. Not the others, not Axonor with his bow trained so skillfully on their heart. They look at you through fabric-covered eyes and you feel it. It seems to last forever before you break away, looking over their weak human frame, their torn burgundy shirt, soaked darker around the ribs and stomach as their arm clutches the opposite side. Their unused arm hangs limply by their side. You're about to signal Axonor to put this human out of its misery when it speaks - a voice unplaceable but painfully familiar, with a slight accent of a human country you have never visited, full of pain and _desperation_.

"Help me... please..." They say in their own language, and you can't pretend you don't understand them. They're not far from you, only about fifteen ft or so, up the sand dune to the left of the river you're stood in, "Help..."

You signal Axonor to lower his weapon just as the human falls, tumbling halfway down the sand dune, the small beads of golden brown clinging to its bloodsoaked shirt and skin. You can see them clearly now, the light of day has diminished to nothing more than a faint glowing over the mountains behind you. You signal the others to stand their ground, ready to flee if this is in fact a ruse, a plan to draw you nearer to an ambush, but as you approach the human nothing stirs. No others jump out and attack, nobody else is coming. This human was alone, and remains alone on the sand dune. You crouch, half a foot from where they lay, breathing shallowly, arms and legs splayed unnaturally and head turned at an angle that obscures most of their features. You've never been this close to a human before.

You reach out a half-gloved hand, your exposed fingers raking back the hair strewn messily across the creature's face, over the translucent black fabric shielding its eyes.

"Karkat get back!" Livean calls out in your native tongue, quietly but angrily from the trees, "You don't know what it will do!"

The wind picks up, brushing against leaves, carrying bird calls and rustles of creatures towards your small party, gathered in a clearing around the drying river. The sounds of night are here.

"It's unconscious, Liv, I doubt it's going to fucking eat me." You observe, pushing at the creature's shoulder and turning it slightly. It's wounded, badly. You know you shouldn't be doing this, you should be walking away, running, finishing it off, but you're curious. The creature asked you for help, despite knowing you were of a lesser species and feared its very existance. It asked for help.

What kind of leader would you be if you left it here to die?

"Livean, Rokara," You say, keeping to your native language and turning back to your group, now sure that no humans nearby could hear you, "You two carry on to the fields. Axonor I want you to keep watch here until they return." He nods, looking more to the human than you, "Keep an arrow knotted, this human was running from something and I wouldn't enjoy finding out what it was."

"What will you do?" He asks, concerned and not breaking his gaze away from the figure beside you - the body is taller than your own, but not by much, and has significantly less muscle on it. He knows you could take this one human if it awoke, but he still fears for you.

"This creature asked for help. I intend to oblige." You say, leaning forwards and taking the weight of the human into your arms. It weighs more than you expected, but isn't unmanageable. The skin is soft, pliant, it's no wonder they damage so easily, needing armour to protect and weapons to fight. They're weak in body, but they spread like disease and build like ants, they overwhelm and destroy as they please.

This one being in your arms is just one of billions looking to wipe out your race; killing your males, using your young as pets and your females as toys, trinkets to be admired and bled for money and medicine. Your coloured blood makes their jewellery; your horns, trophies. Yet you feel sorry for this creature, bleeding and alone in the wasteland you call your territory, so far from human settlements. Its shirt is soaked through with blood, a brown cloak useless and torn, trousers and shoes so mud stained, battered and worn that you can barely tell their original colour.

Axonor is telling you not to be stupid, to leave the human for its own to find, but you shake your head, your dark grey cloak enveloping your shoulders as you stand, brushing on the human's hair and knees as you carry it down the dune.

"You can't bring it back to the settlement." Livean says incredulously as you pass her, heading towards the forest once more.

"What the fuck do you propose I do?" You hiss, "Leave a creature that has done us no harm in the open to die, possibly at the hands of its own kind?!"

"He's right. It's done us no harm, it even asked us for help." Rokara notes, "If it dies, at least it dies with dignity in the settlement, not alone on the dunes."

You part ways with them, leaving the females to hunt and Axonor to stand guard against anyone looking for the human or posing a threat to the females. You start the walk back to the village alone. You look down at the human in your arms.

_Not completely alone._

You can't stay as quiet as you'd hoped to with the weight of a body in your arms: twigs crunch more willingly, hedges rustle more enthusiastically and the birds calling overhead are disturbed by the smell of the human's blood. Your eyes are adjusted to the darkness now, and you can avoid the uneven ground and leaf traps you know to be scattered in the woodland, but you miss the tree root and you're already falling before you can right yourself. The human drops out of your arms as you struggle to fall sideways, away from it. It rolls slightly in the leaves and you hold your breath. It doesn't wake. Nobody comes to attack.

You struggle with the creature the rest of the way back to the village, but are grateful when you reach the dim lanterns that signal the entrance. Several of the settlers rush forwards to you, before recoiling at the bundle in your arms.

"Don't fear it, it's wounded and requested our help." You speak to them quietly, your native language forcing out quiet clicks and hisses around the words. When the human wakes, perhaps, you'll speak in a language it too can understand, but for now you speak to the masses. You need their help.

A young bronzeblood - you think he goes by the name Sorian? - rushes forwards to help you carry the human to the medical shelter. He's firing questions at you, one after the other, and you almost scold him before realising it's not necessary. He's never seen anything like this before. None of them have.

"Until I know its intentions, we'll keep it here to recover, I'll need the medically trained members woken, the human is bleeding severely and is unconscious." You announce to the small gathered crowd. A couple young trolls run off to seperate shelters - makeshift hives made from wood and stone. The younger trolls are the ones usually awake at this time, still unused to the alternate sleeping pattern of the group.

"He." A female troll calls from the small group gathered around the medical shelter. You make a completely mature adult confused noise in her direction, turning to see a Jadeblood smiling at you, "It's a male human."

You nod, then, and she nods back, "Would you mind terribly if I stay by him with the medical team? I know more about human culture than most here and might be able to see what brought him to our territory."

"Of course, please." You step aside, allowing the female to enter the block, followed closely by two of the medical team as they arrive. You should sleep, you know that, but instead you find yourself lingering in the doorway, watching as the human is cleaned, it- _his_ wounds washed of dirt and sand, clothes placed aside to be cleaned. They remove the cloth from his eyes and you lean forwards, but it only reveals closed lids, untainted skin. You heard that humans have different coloured eyes to their blood, and you'd have been glad to satisfy your curiosity on the matter. You'll have to wait.

They stabilise him, repairing his less severe wounds - bruises and cuts to the ribs and chest - with a sopor mixture and bandages. They have to press a bandage to a particularyly deep cut just above his heart, almost on his collarbone; wrapping over his ribs and up over the shoulder several times in order to keep it in place. The mixture heals slowly, you know this, but you don't leave the doorway until they confirm he'll survive the night.

You sleep uneasily that night, but you sleep uneasily every night. Your dreams are scarce, but the few you have are filled with colour.

You wake to your name being called from outside, a soft female voice outside your door. Livean. You open your eyes, calling back a response as you sit up. She calls in to inform you the human is awake.

"Is he well?" You call out in question, pulling a long rust-coloured tunic over your head and buckling the belt of your dark trousers as you walk to the door. You open the door just as she replies.

"The first thing he did was demand his eye cloth back. The second thing he did was ask where you were." She seems bitter.

"Oh?"

"He also requested that I didn't tell you the second part, but he asked for the _'ornery troll who carried him in like a princess'_."

You're not sure how to react, so you don't, instead heading out of the door and towards the main area, where the fire is lit and the cliff overlooks a far off ocean. A small hut is built there to house the food, and you know everyone will be gathered there at this time. You turn the corner and take in the scene, stopping in the pathway.

The human is there, torso still bandaged, wearing only his brown cloth trousers. He's sat, barefoot and bare chested, with your own kind, who could tear him apart readily in such a state, sharing food kindly. His eye cloth is firmly in place, tied at the back of his head but seemingly not impairing his vision at all. He sees you and looks up, straightening and turning his top half towards you, before wincing at the pain it causes to his bruised ribs. He almost smiles, before slumping slightly. You're wary, not breaking what you believe to be eye contact, but clenching your jaw. The two youngest trolls, no more than two sweeps old, cling to him. This is not an experience you expected to show the younger ones.

You walk towards the scene, six adult trolls, two just-more-than-wrigglers, and a human sit outside the food shelter. The highest blooded member of your group, Amirah the coral blood, sits to his left, leaning towards him as you approach.

"Hey." The human offers when you get close enough to hear him.

"You're feeling better?" You ask, your human language not as fluid as your native tongue but by far the best of the group.

The human pauses before replying, "Uh, yeah... Thanks for not leaving me out there."

He looks deflated, but you're not sure why. His skin is fair, spattered with white scar lines all over the parts not currently covered in healing wounds, his hair is bright. You've never seen a human this pale before.

"Strider, by the way. Dave Strider." The human says, and you look back up to his face, confused, "Or were you happy enough just checking me out and having me nameless?"

You bristle, "In that case I'm Karkat Vantas you insufferable son of a grubfucker, and if you think-" You're about to continue when you hear your name called from behind, turning to see Axonor running towards you, dressed in his casual outfit instead of his hunting gear, now. He looks poorly rested and highly troubled.

"What is it, Ax?" You ask as he gets nearer, almost forgetting to switch your language back before you speak.

"Humans, spotted just southeast of here, they're only about five miles away, the beacon just went up."

You turn and glare accusingly at the newcomer, wrapped in bandages and surrounded by the trolls who trust you to keep them safe. He looks confused, clearly not being fluent in your own language. You growl in exasperation.

"We don't have much time." Axonor points out needlessly, and you turn to him quickly with gritted teeth.

"I am completely _fucking_ aware of that! Get the others together, grab any and all supplies we can, we move out in an hour. We'll come back once they've moved past here."

He nods and runs off, the trolls previously surrounding the now-confused human rushing off to join him back in the village. You round on the pale creature, storming up the pathway towards him.

"You! What did you do?!" You growl out as he scrambles to his feet, stumbling backwards against the wall.

"What the fuck are you on about? The hell is going on?" He asks, bracing himself against the wall and not letting you any closer.

"Humans reach here within the next few hours, conveniently after I save one of their kind from a slow and painful death. Seems suspicious."

He raises his hands, "I didn't tell them to come here. I have been unconscious for hours, I don't even fucking like my own people why would I bring them here?"

You growl, turning to head back down the path to gather your belongings.

"How can I help?!" He calls out, stepping quickly after you, "Come on Karkat just-"

You turn around, right in his face, "Don't call me by name, Strider, you haven't earned that right."

"Same to you then, jerkass, but for the record I think I earned the right to call you whatever the fuck I want to years ago."

You ignore his nonsense, heading to your block to gather your few belongings, before making sure everyone else is ready to leave. You'll head further up, circling around to avoid the humans, before ending up back at your settlement. You have the plan in your head, now to just execute it without messing up; that was always the trickiest part.

You leave swiftly, heading down a narrow pathway through the trees to avoid contact with the humans heading your way. The Jadeblood from the night before and Livean are leading the crowd, which you are happy for. They know this route better than most, as it leads to the waterfall, concealing the cave of this region's Mother Grub. You cannot risk the humans finding her, or your group will have no method of reproducing when the time comes.

The human is walking diagonally in front of you, Amirah is stood close to him, hanging on every word he speaks and glancing back at you with eyes so burning with hatred and pride you might just slit your own throat right there. You're not sure what the female intends to convey with this behaviour, but you hope and pray it isn't calignous flirting she is after. Quadrants would distract you, confuse you, force you to misjudge in order to keep the welfare of your partner(s) in mind. You cannot prioritise any member of this group, not now.

Livean is looking back at you, her gaze almost pitying as she walks ahead with the leading females. Rokara nudges her and she turns back around. You shake your head, you need to concentrate.

The journey is long, passing the watercave only an hour after you set out, and you are now two hours from there, further in the trees than most members of your group would dare to enter. Axonor and a rustblooded male shield either side of the group as they move, weapons trained on any movement through the surrounding trees. Amirah is speaking with the human, baring rows upon rows of sharp teeth as she smiles, sharklike in looks and demeanour. The human seems unperturbed by her actions, simply speaking back quietly and dejectedly, forcing a laugh when she tries to say something clever. He looks back at you at least twice during the walk, catching your eye through the fabric shielding his own, holding contact for no more than a few seconds. You never turn towards his gaze, simply looking through the edges of your vision and taking note of how he reacts when you don't bother looking up.

It's almost nightfall when you begin rounding back towards the settlement, and the young and tired and weak. Everyone but Amirah looks to you for a decision - the highblood has never enjoyed listening to what you have to say. You decide that they will sleep here for a short while, setting off once more in seven hours, when the sun will be beginning to rise once more. You choose four trolls to keep guard, including yourself, and allow the others to settle down amongst the leaves and plant debris of the forest floor.

You are the only guard who sits on the floor, the others working with long range weapons and choosing their vantage points up in the trees above the sleepers. You sit in the crevace of a large tree trunk, your sickles placed within reach and your eyes glowing in the darkness, face shrouded by your hood.

"Mind if I join you?" A voice whispers from the side. You would have expected such a sentence from Livean, but the language and voice causes you to turn to face the human male fully. You glare at him. He takes that to mean he can sit down. "Never really been one for sleeping."

You hiss out lowly, turning back towards the outward circle of the forest, keeping watch over the sleepers to your left as the human sits to your right, looking directly at you through his covered eyes. You sit in silence for minutes that seem to drag out for hours before he stretches and leans back against the tree trunk.

"Alrighty then we'll just sit here in silence until you wanna talk to me."

"In that case, you'll be sat there until you decay."

He smiles at you, and it makes you want to punch him, "Charming Karkles, but may I point out you just spoke to me willingly."

"Don't butcher my name like that you grubwhiffing nookmuncher, or I'll satisfy my urge to punch you in the throat."

"Sorry dude I don't feel all blackrom at you today. Check back next week I might be able to fit you in to my busy quadrant-based schedule. You can draw me a table for it if you want."

He's looking at you expectantly, eyebrows raised and arms behind his head. You can see from here that his fingers are crossed. You are confused, and you know your expression shows it because he deflates once more, turning his gaze up to the treetops.

"Worth a shot." He whispers to nobody in particular, and you ignore him; humans are even more confusing than you thought they would be.

He stays silent for the rest of the night, keeping watch with you despite his lack of weapons, and not saying anything apart from short replies when you ask him the time. He seems to know it to the minute, despite the fact you realised after asking the first time that he doesn't have a timepiece like most humans do. He answered anyway, a quick _"one seventeen in the morning"_ before going back to his silence, watching the wind pass through the leaves.

The sun comes up at around three thirty - later than usual, the human notes, and you agree with him. You wake everyone, allowing them to eat and drink before you head back to what the humans have left of your settlement. You end up carrying one of the young on the way back - a bronze-blooded male you remember being named Tokaro. He's one of the two you rescued on the last real 'adventure' your hunter teams had - himself and an olive blooded female of the same age had been being transported during a hunt about half a sweep ago. Your hunter team had dispatched the two humans easily and rescued the young trolls. They are now about two sweeps old, the youngest members of your group.

Tokaro is tired, clinging to your shoulder as you carry him on your front, his legs barely able to grip your sides as he buries a tired face into your chest. He's light for a young troll; malnourished and weak. You fear he may be ill.

The human is walking beside you today, much to Amirah's anger. She is casting you jealous glares from the back of the group, where she walks with a cobalt blooded female, who is loudly and animatedly telling her about rumours she has heard about an island to the west, where trolls run free and undisturbed by humans. You smile softly at the stories you know to be false - the island to the west is no paradise, but a holding camp.

The human Strider isn't talking as much today, but does reach over to your shoulder a couple of times to gain your attention, pointing out objects and creatures in the forest and explaining their human names. You're interested, though you're unsure why he's doing it. He points out a hummingbird to you - a creature you're already familiar with, and that same hopeful look is on his face. You simply repeat the word to him in his language and carry on walking, the young troll still asleep in your arms.

"Wouldn't have pegged you the maternal type." He says finally, after Axonor announces you are about two hours away from the settlement.

"Maternal?" You question, the word strange and foreign on your tongue.

"You know, a guardian? Like a Lusus? Caring?" He offers, before pointing at the young troll in your arms.

You nod towards a tealblooded male, carrying the other young troll, "We rescued them from traders. Usually having young trolls mixed with adults is extremely dangerous, but the group has kept them. All of us acting as their lusii, as their own were killed."

"You really did make a great leader." The human says.

You look up, confused at his wording, "What?"

He shakes his head, smiling slightly, "Looking after this entire group, keeping them all alive no matter what - they are lucky to have you as their leader."

You walk in silence for a while, your arms aching slightly from lack of sleep and the weight of the sleeping troll in your arms. The human taps your shoulder again.

"Let me carry him the rest of the way." He says, reaching out a hand to Tokaro. You let him lift him, a hand under each arm as he transfers the bronzeblooded young from your chest to his own. You are grateful, able to stretch out and relax your arms. You thank him, he ignores you.

As you reach the settlement, the smell of burning infiltrates your senses. Many of the others are setting off at a run towards the buildings, no longer aflame but quietly smoking in the morning light. Many begin to rebuild immediately - the younger members of the group going to find more wood for repairs, or collecting stone from the cliff face.

The human steps beside you, still holding the young troll, "It could have been worse."

"How?" You ask seriously, not looking up at him.

"You could have chosen not to leave." He nudges you, whether or purpose or by accident you're not sure, "We can rebuild it."

"I know." You say, looking out at the mess that is your home - buildings battered and torn, homes ransacked...

He walks down, then, as the tealblooded male places the young female down, sitting beside her as she wakes. The human places Tokaro on her other side, joining the male and speaking with him quietly. You turn away from them, walking down to where you know your own hive will be.

The damage isn't severe - it can definitely be fixed within the next few days, but it was just so _unnecessary_. The humans didn't need to break or burn, they just do so for pleasure, to relieve their constant boredom. Destruction and suffering seem to please them, but only when not at their own expense. They attack and defile and set light to anything they say is the property of who or what they consider to be lesser than them. They take and take and take, and when they're done taking they burn whatever they can't carry, so as not to leave anything for anyone else. They are selfish, vile creatures.

You look towards the human, sat with three adults and the two young, now, speaking with them, smiling with them, encouraging them and assuring them that everything will be okay.

You wonder what makes this human so different to the others.

He helps rebuild, his injuries healing faster than he can make new ones, thankfully. He climbs up on rooftops - being lighter than most trolls he can stay up there long enough to be passed supplies and patch up holes without falling through and causing further damage.

It takes three nights to repair everything to usable standards, but you hate to admit it would have taken much longer without the human's help. You have given him his own hive, near the main part of the settlement, not far from your own. He is thankful, before going back to making cryptic comments and sly suggestions, becoming more dejected each time you are confused - which is every time. You wish you understood what he was trying to accomplish.

It's the night of the rebuild completion. The trolls are sleeping, now, save for the hunting team (out without you, tonight) and the pair standing guard either side of the settlement. You walk in the night air, shoeless, in only your baggy dark trousers and your brown tunic, enjoying the silence. You should be asleep, but something has drawn you out of your makeshift bed. You want to walk, to see the far-off sea from the cliff face. You see Livean leaning out of her window as you pass her block and she smiles at you, beckoning you over to her. You shake your head and she frowns, watching you pass.

You turn the corner, seeing him before he sees you. The human is sat on the grassy knoll next to the food storage block, looking out at the very scene you came here to enjoy. You are not put off by him, instead walking forwards more quietly, intending perhaps to make him jump.

"I could hear you coming a mile off, Vantas." He says, then, and you stop in your tracks. You are about eight ft away from him, "You coming to sit with me or just stand there silently?"

You sigh, walking up to sit with him. He's alone, in a white shirt and his brown trousers. You notice he's holding a black piece of fabric in one hand. There is nothing covering his eyes. You're in the wrong position to see them, so you lean forwards slightly, trying to catch his gaze. He smiles and averts his eyes just before you reach the right angle.

"You know what they look like." He says, so sure of himself that even you begin to believe him, "You've known for a while."

"No, I don't." You say, and your words waver so much you fear you're lying. You know normal human eye colours - green, blue, brown and variations of the three - but you can't picture any of those fitting the human Strider.

He looks at you, then, turning his head fully so that both of your eyes meet both of his, two reds so similar they may as well have been taken from one being. His eyes burn in the starlight, you can feel them on you, penetrating the walls of your mind and heart, reaching in and ripping at your soul. Your heart stops. You know those eyes. Those hellfire eyes you see in your dreams, so like yours and yet so, so different.

You break away, pulling back so forcefully you swear you can feel the connection break, hear the pangs of elastic tearing in your mind as you force yourself to look at the stars reflecting on the water over the horizon.

"Who are you?" You ask, your voice strained and raspy, breathing heavy and muscles contracted so tight you feel you might implode.

He doesn't move, doesn't stop staring at you, "You know who I am, Karkat. Think."

"Who _are_ you?!" You yell, your voice cracking at the volume it has become unused to. He smiles. The asshole smiles when you shout. He's saying something but all you can hear is your blood thumping painfully in your ears, images flashing in your vision, of a comet- no, a meteor hurtling through space, stone walls, young faces. You can't make out detail, only flashes of bright green light and bright red blood. Your teeth are grinding tightly, hands clutching at your head as you fall to your side. He's speaking, repeating your name in a panicked voice. You retch, acidic taste and red colouring pushing out of your throat to attempt to relieve the blinding pressure, the tension in your head, your heart, your body. You're curled up, tearing into your own hair with the force your hands hold your head with, the base of your horns ache, your eyes are stinging, he's got a hand on your shoulder and one on your waist and he's yelling to someone. The images flash behind your eyes once more, of dovetail hair and tinted glasses, of young trolls and far away lands. You black out before you get the chance to scream.

When you awake, it feels as though you might had fallen off the cliff itself. Your body aches, your mind aches. You head hurts as you attempt to remember why you blacked out in the first place. You feel different, new and yet so very old. You open your eyes and-

eyes.

Those eyes.

You sit upright, drawing the attention of one of the medically trained trolls - a sageblood named Fornak - who rushes over to you, pushing you back down and telling you to rest. Livean is in the medical shelter with you, glaring at you with peridot eyes as you force yourself to sit up again.

"I knew the human was bad news. Did he poison you? Did he seduce and betray you?" She asks, venom in her voice and manner as she does so. She looks betrayed.

"Dave..." You say, panic in your tired voice, "Where is h-"

"Gone." She says triumphantly, "He was forced to leave after we found you attacked."

"I wasn't attacked!" You shout, forcing yourself up despite the protest of your aching bones.

"It was a good job I followed you." She says as you struggle, ignoring your protest, "When he started shouting your name I knew something must have happened. I would have thought you of all people would have been careful around a human! You let your guard down around a predator, Karkat!"

You growl lowly, standing and stepping towards Livean as she blocks the door.

She softens her gaze, "You poor, pitiful creature. He left without a word, not even a question of whether he had killed you."

"Move." You say, pushing her aside when she doesn't. You walk to your block in the morning sun, ignoring her shouts of protest after you, her declarations of flushed feelings, her concern. You have to find him before his own do.

You pull on your boots, your cloak, secure your sickles to your belt. This is as ready as you'll ever be. Axonor stops you as you go to leave the village, concern in his voice and his pure golden eyes, usually so full of vibrant mischief. He reminds you of Sollux. You wonder who Sollux is.

"Are you going after him?" Axonor asks. His bow and arrows are strapped to his back, despite the fact he is a night guard, not a day guard. He would usually be sleeping at this time.

"I have to, they'll kill him if they find him." You say, asking a silent question as you do: _will you come with me?_

Your companion nods, turning and heading out of the clearing with you, telling you he saw him take a right, back towards the river. You walk silently, observing trees and hedges he may have passed through, but it would seem he moves stealthily, moreso than anything you have hunted or hunted with before. Axonor breaks the silence every now and then with short comments about what the others might think of you and the human. You dismiss each one.

You hear movement behind you about half an hour in to your journey and stop, turning abruptly and frightening the small deer pushing through the bushes. You sigh. Axonor laughs at you.

The twigs and leaves around this part of the forest are undisturbed, but you know that while it would imply no person has passed through this area, the human Strider would be careful, quiet, stealthy in his movement. Not to avoid the detection of the trolls, of course, but to avoid detection from his own. You never thought to ask him why he was so injured when he came to you, but you make a note to ask sometime soon; assuming you find him.

"Karkat we have been walking for hours with no sign of him." Axonor notes sadly, pulling a twig from a tree as he passes and throwing it into the brush, "I would have more chance of locating that twig than we are having finding the human."

"Then go home." You say passively, bright eyes scanning the forest as you shoulder past him. You refuse to give up. You're still not sure what the images the human showed you mean, but you know they're important, and you know your head feels ten times heavier since the incident on the clifftop. You have to find him. You have to know for sure what it all means.

Axonor scoffs, jogging to catch up with you, "And leave you in the forest by yourself? I think not."

You walk in silence before reaching a fork in the beaten path, you take a moment to appreciate how wonderfully cliché this is before turning to Axonor, "Take a path, if we find nothing within the next hour we meet back here and take the paths one by one together."

He nods, heading off down the left hand path, further away from the river; audible from where you are stood. You head down the other path, towards the thinner part of the forest. You often come down this path on hunts, as it leads to one of the few farmlands that still hold hoofbeasts further from the human settlements than many others. You push through the leaves with your half-gloves hands, your slender grey fingers protruding from the crudely sewn black fabric, sunset claws scratching lightly at the trees as you pass them.

The trees are fewer here, spread out across a wide stretch of forest before the river, and you can see the water clearly from where you stand. The undergrowth is thicker, making it harder to walk silently amongst the foliage - it is here that you see footprints, smaller than your own, where someone has tried and failed to walk on the thicker leaves and fallen through them. Someone who didn't know this part of the forest well enough to hide in it.

"Strider, where are you?" You whisper to nobody in particular, your voice taking on his accent as you speak in the human's language.

You push out of the forest, knowing the dangers of moving in the open during the day. You pause, closing your eyes against the afternoon sun and counting, waiting for an ambush, a bullet, a knife to find you. Nothing happens. You open your eyes, glancing around the waterside and finding yourself slightly downstream from the clearing where you first found the human. If you look right, you can see the other side of the sand dune he must have walked up. The sand here is gritty, rocky and mixed with the silt of the riverbed, unlike further upstream, where it softens into golden specks by the riverside. You walk along the rushing water, passing the jagged rocks filtering it on its way past, the grassy knolls of tangled green and yellow. You are heading for the clearing, though you aren't sure why. Surely the human wouldn't be so stupid as to go back there? Something in your stomach tells you he might, and so you continue walking.

You turn as you pass the sand dune, fully expecting him to be laid out where he fell so many days ago, and seeing nothing there. You are disappointed, you had thought so surely he would be her-

"Karkat?"

You look sharply to your right, to a figure sat on the other side of the river. He looks wary, his stoic expression crumbling to one of concern. The eye cloth is back on, you struggle not to ask him to remove it once more, to let you see his eyes that did so much harm to you before.

You see him, but younger than he is; wrapped in a soft red cloak and tinted eye glasses. Your head hurts. You ignore it. You feel younger than your eleven sweeps of life would imply, but so much more tired. You walk to him and he stands, bracing himself as if he were about to be hit. You do not hit him.

You fling your arms around him, holding him tightly and forcefully, so much so that you think you might be hurting him. He grips back, tighter than you could have imagined a human to hold you. No, you never expected to hold a human like this, let alone a human to hold you back with equal force and desperation. You know, you know everything he wanted you to know, but you can't _place_ any of it and that angers you, so this embrace is as much punishment for him as it is the greeting he deserved when you first found him.

You know this man, this boy, this friend. The one who teased and fought with you for so many sweeps, who earned the right to use your name so long ago. His blunt human nails cling to your cloak, his body pressed so close to you and yet so far away, too far away. You feel as though your head is going to explode with all of the emotion and confusion inside of you. You are happy to see him, as if for the first time, you are relieved you found him before someone else did, you are pained and exhausted and sad, and above all else your mind has no clue why you are feeling all of this, while your heart screams of a life you left behind, a game played by sixteen children that led to the deaths of so many. A friendship gained in mourning and loss, of loneliness and fear. A bond made in the darkness of two lives broken and defeated.

You cling to this human, Dave Strider, who means so much to your past and too little to your now. You force your mind to accept what your heart tells you, what Dave is saying into your cloak. You remember, you have to remember, it meant too much to forget. You cling impossibly tighter and you both fall, knees hitting the cold water and hard bed of the river below your feet, he's wrapped his arms fully around you, one circling your back and the other clinging to your shoulder. He's speaking to you but you don't hear his words, only his meaning.

_He found you, it's okay, you don't have to do any of this alone now._

You sob, then, and you weren't aware that you were crying to begin with but your face is damp and your throat sore, you cling tighter to him, remembering, knowing. You remember a life before this, a child so confused by himself he forced anger towards those he cared about. A child who, instead of allowing bonds to be made, forced them to be broken so as not to hurt anyone else. A dangerous child from a dangerous life, finding solace and comfort in the arms and friendship of a human boy who reminded him so much of himself that he hated him at first.

You open your eyes, clouded by diluted red tears. Dave has stopped speaking now, only quiet "shh" sounds audible above the water of the river. You breathe, resting your forehead on his shoulder, your grip loosening in exhaustion. He continues to calm you, pushing your hood back, running his hand through your soft, fur-like hair, careful to avoid your horns. Your breathing is deep, shuddering on every exhale. Your tears have all been cried, your eyes hot and dry. You close them, allowing yourself to lean forwards to Dave's touch, clinging slightly to his shoulders.

"I'm so sorry." You choke out, unable to convey any more than that. You're apologising for arguing with him, for not _getting it_ when he tried so hard to remind you. You're apologising for forgetting him, when he so clearly did not forget you.

"Time shit, remember? No way you could have known. One large memory wipe for Karkat and several hundred horrifying dreams for Dave. Just how it went."

You almost laugh, but you hear footsteps through the trees - too heavy to be human. You lift your head from Dave's shoulder, looking towards the tree line to see Axonor emerge from the forest, visibly relieved when he sees you both.

"How long has it been?" You ask him (in Dave's language of English for courtesy sake), concerned at his panic.

"Two hours since we seperated." He replies in the same language, glancing to Dave, "You are well enough to accompany us back, I trust?"

"I should think so." Dave nods, helping you stand with him.

It's almost dusk by the time you reach the camp, the hunter team readying themselves to leave. Livean is among them, and she pointedly avoids your eyes as you walk past, Dave practically hanging off your shoulder until she's out of sight.

"Is that completely necessary?" You whisper to him as he pushes off of you, back to walking normally.

"Can't have some femtroll stealing my bro from me, can I?" He says, grinning at you.

"And while we're at it can you take that stupid cloth off? It makes you look like more of a tool than your sunglasses did."

"Why Karkat it's only been a week and you're already asking me to take my clothes off? Poor show, man, I would have expected better of you."

"Bite me."

He grins wolfishly at that, muttering a quiet "I might just."

You thump him on the arm and he laughs, shoving you so hard you almost fall into a passing male rustblood and his matesprit. You curse at him quietly, ordering him to go the fuck to bed before he breaks something, or before you break his nose. Whichever comes first.

"Alright alright. See you in the morning?"

"Unless you try another ridiculous escape act, sure." You note, heading down the adjacent pathway towards your block. You're hungry and tired, but the loud "g'night!" Dave calls after you makes the day of wandering aimlessly completely worth it.

You're just drifting off to sleep atop the wood-and-fabric construction that constitutes as your bed when you hear a knock at the door. You growl lowly, pushing your thin covers aside and padding over to the door in your sleeping trousers. You open it to reveal darkness, broken only by a shock of blonde hair and pale skin, illuminated by the starlight. He's got a bag with him.

"Mind if I come in?"

You step aside, allowing him to enter while you light the lantern just inside your block, closing the door behind him and allowing the light to fill the room. You're just about to ask what's wrong when he speaks.

"Amirah just barged into my room and propositioned me." He says, borderline laughing as he turns to you, seeing your shocked expression. He reaches behind his head to fiddle with the knot in his eye cloth, removing it as he speaks, "I told her to g-t-f-o and she didn't take it too well, so I figured I should probably bounce out of there while I still had my dick, y'know?"

"I only understood half of that." You note, shaking your head and smiling.

He looks concerned, "What did you not get all fluent in English when the universes flipped?"

You roll your eyes, "I did, I just have no idea what the fuck you're talking about eighty per cent of the time."

He smiles again, his eyes seemingly getting brighter in the candlelight, "Basically your highblood hatefloozy wants my human meat sausage and I was all _hell no_ and she was all _fuck you then_ and stormed out, so I came here."

"Fantastic." You say, going back to sit on your bed as Dave removes the bag from his shoulders.

"I also brought food because there's no way in hell you ate today."

You allow yourself to smile, then, "You, Strider, are a beautiful human being."

"I know man, I know. Here, take what you want." He opens up the bag and tips out a few apples, some grub loaf and some kind of cooked meat wrapped in leaves. You don't even care that he took these from the store cupboard: that's what it's there for, after all.

You stare at the food for a while before Dave sighs and hands you the grub loaf, taking the apples for himself. You offer some to him but he declines, so, shrugging, you eat it in silence. Dave asks you questions every now and then, about what you've been doing and how you've coped without him. You explain how much easier it is to stay alive without an insufferable bulgemuncher making you want to kill yourself, he laughs and hits you lightly, a quiet "yeah I missed you too, asshole" leaving his lips before he could stop himself.

As you finish your food, you ask him what happened the night you found him. He shrugs, avoiding answering until finishing the bite of apple he had in his mouth.

"Disagreement with a couple people in the village I was living in, no big deal. Just turns out that the price for talking back to the man in charge is a light but thorough stabbing."

"Honestly, I don't see any other way to deal with your bullshit. Give the man my regards." You say, Dave holds eye contact, challenging your poker face.

You try to hold back your laughter and fail miserably, quiet chuckles leaving your throat before Dave joins in and you're both laughing, you falling sideways until you're laying back on your bed, full and happy for the first time in what seems like a lifetime.

You open your eyes, laughs subsiding as you realise Dave has gone silent. You almost jump when you see his red eyes so close, leaning over you with a smile so geniune it makes you want to cry. You can feel his breath on your face, little huffs of warm air. Your head hurts again. He leans in.

His lips press against your own; soft, warm and wet against your own dry mouth. He doesn't move until you move your lips against his, opening your mouth slightly to catch the skin of his bottom lip between both of yours, chaste and calm. It's not desperate, not even romantic, just soft kisses to test you're both there, both alive and able to feel. You pull him up onto the bed with you, holding him close as he continues to press his lips against your own. You need to know he's here, alive and breathing, that you're not going to wake up in the medical block and him still be gone, with no way of you finding him.

You've never held him like this before, so close and personal. You don't know what he wants, what he expects, but you don't care as long as he never lets go. You've found your lifeline in an image of the past, and you're willing to do whatever it takes to keep him here, fuck the consequences.

He does nothing more than kiss you, though; so sure of every movement he makes as he lays beside you, his torso leaning over yours at an awkward angle. He pulls away, leaving your lips damp and cold as he presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. His fringe falls over your face, his white-blonde hair mixing with the black waves of your own. There is nothing romantic in this, but at the same time there is. Something about a friend tracking you down in a new universe, knowing full well you might never know the truth - he did it anyway, he tried, whether by accident or on purpose he found you and didn't leave the countless times he could have.

If that isn't romantic, you're not sure what is.

You fall asleep wrapped up in eachother, the blanket pulled over your tangled frames as you sleep comfortably for the first time in sweeps. The rhythmic way he taps against your arm as he drifts off, his steady breathing, warm air against your forehead as he holds you in his sleep with his cheek pressed dangerously close to your right horn; these are the things that comfort you most as you fall asleep in the arms of the twenty-three year old human you had almost forgotten to remember.

When you wake, it's to loud, accusatory shouts from the closed door.

"Filth! Scum! Infiltrating our community and taking our own for his pleasure!"

You blink your eyes open abruptly as they slam a fist on the door, but Dave's already awake and sitting upright. They're yelling in English, which is highly unusual, though you suppose they _are_ yelling at Dave...

"Shut the fuck up and get away from my door!" You shout, and Dave winces, rubbing his ear nearest you and pretending to check he can still hear. You apologise quietly as you climb over him, heading to your makeshift window to see who is causing such fuss at this time in the morning.

Livean stands outside with Amirah and two confused looking males. You sigh, going to the door.

"If you try and barge in I will have you removed from the settlement, this is my territory and coming in uninvited will not be tolerated, do you understand?" You call through the door, hearing someone step back so abruptly they almost trip. You open the door and face the small crowd, "What the fuck do you want? It's barely past sunrise and I'm trying to sleep."

"Yeah I'm sure you are." Amirah sneers, her lips curling lightly as she attempts to look around you, "With the human in there with you?"

Livean winces, glaring around your shoulder to where Dave sits, still fully dressed, on the edge of your bed, "Vile scum."

You step in front of her vision, "You will talk to me and not insult a guest of our village. This man has helped us in ways no other human would, and you repay his kindness by accusing him of such depravity? Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"Why are you so quick to defend him?!" Livean demands, anger brewing in her voice and eyes.

"And to invite him to your block?" Amirah offers, calmly but with a sneer, her long dress folding oddly where she crosses her arms.

"Who here can say they have never invited a friend to their block for an evening?" You ask openly, addressing passing trolls as well as the growing crowd outside your door. They murmur to eachother, nobody able to raise a hand in protest, "You accuse the two of us of acts beyond your business, without even considering that perhaps we were sharing food and talk as friends late into the night. You can see I am dressed, and that Dave is dressed, and yet you continue well into your delusion that there is something here worth talking about? Even if there were such actions taking place, if a relationship began between two trolls in this village, would you hound them and demand information, accuse them of some devious crime?"

The trolls look amongst eachother, Livean looking physically wounded at the front, stepping back to be further from where you stand in your doorway.

"And yet, when a man proves himself to be a part of our community, helps care for the young and rebuild our hives when they are destroyed by his own kind, when he proves himself to be worthy of our friendship and trust, you accuse him of using a member of our community for his own personal gain. Tell me Livean, Amirah, what would he have to gain from me?"

"Power." Amirah calls out, with no reaction from the others gathered around.

"I have no power here, this is no democracy, this place, this village, this home is run by all of us. I am not in charge or Rankar and Fornak, the medical team - they frequently treat my wounds and injuries and I never tell them how to do their jobs. Rokara and Axonor lead the hunts, many times without my assistance. Fioria is in charge of the food storage, and not once have I dictated how she does so. You all have your own responsibilities that I do not interfere with. I do not run this community, I have as much power here as any of you."

"You look up to him though, right?" Dave offers, pushing the door further open to stand by you before the crowd, they agree; he leans towards Amirah (who flinches visibly at the sight of his uncovered eyes) barely audible as he speaks, "Then why the hell are you stood here arguing with him about something as trivial as where we spend our nights, when many of you have equally questionable intentions?"

She growls, moving back through the crowd as it disperses, leaving two female trolls stood before your door. Livean looks wounded, hurt and betrayed, but there is nothing you can do for her. There is no way you can persue her the way she does you, and it will be easier for her if you say nothing. She leaves, her head down and hood up, back to the main area.

The other troll stood nearby walks forwards, the Jadeblood from the medical block when you first brought Dave back from the dunes. You recognise her more, now, though she is considerably older than the last time you knew her name. She is smiling, and you notice how Dave moves past you and embraces her, laughing.

"Good to see you, Kanaya." Dave laughs, "Lucky you were stuck with this windbag really."

"I am so glad you are here, David." She laughs, embracing him with less force than you had, previously. You wonder how long she's known for.

"I know what you're gonna ask, Kan, but I honestly don't know where she is." Dave says, stepping back from the tall Jadeblood, her eyes sadden, "This is a start though, I've got two of you. Can't be too hard to track down the rest, right?"

"Exactly. We have many sweeps in order to find the others. It was pure chance that I found this group to begin with, though I wasn't aware the significance until I saw you brought in from the wastelands."

"So you knew before I did, and said nothing?" You ask, then, stepping out of your door and towards Kanaya.

"I did not wish to impede on Dave's work. When he woke briefly and realised I had remembered, he made me swear not to inform you who he was before he could."

Dave smiles at you apologetically, "Didn't want you causing a scene, though you kinda went and did it anyway."

Kanaya excuses herself to attend to her duties for the day, and you are left with Dave, stood in the open outside your block in the growing morning light. The sun still feels strange on your skin, bright to your eyes, but you're adjusting. You all are.

Dave heads back inside, tapping your shoulder on his way past to indicate you should follow him. You stand for a moment, looking out at the village you've helped build and manage. The trolls that look up to you despite knowing hardly anything about you. You step back, closing the door behind you and returning to bed, to Dave's open arms and the unchallenged bond you share, in this new world where everything is different and nothing makes sense any more.

"What now?" You ask quietly as Dave tugs at the covers. He envelopes the two of you with the covers as he responds - answering the question silently behind the answer to another.

"Sleep now, then I figured I'd tag along with your hunting team later." he says, an arm around your shoulder as you lean your head back. You don't ask the question in more detail - you know he's staying here.

Maybe, one day, you'll feel ready to go out into the world and find the others.

But for now, you fall into the waiting world of sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Phew !! This one took a while to write (About 2 days, interspersed with me going manic on Sims 3; I'll admit it now, I have a serious problem) but I'm pleased with how it turned out. It's inspired by the song Prayer of the Refugee by Rise Against (also the fic's original title, hence the brackets), so if you haven't heard that one I strongly suggest you give it a listen, it's ace.
> 
> I'm working on the next chapter of R&R as we speak, so if you're waiting on that, Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about it !! It should be up within the week.
> 
> Also, if any of you are in London this Friday, drop by St James' Park and I'll be there at the Teacherstuck meet. Just look for the loser in the EnglishTeacher!Karkat cosplay.
> 
> Speak to you all soon,
> 
> xoMegan


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